A Twisted Tail
by Sereg5
Summary: Hieronymus Grubwiggler decides to turn himself into a furry and then clone himself. Based on a random roll for The Crack Pairings Thread.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Ok, someone else (if I remember correctly, it was Zanaril) rolled Hieronymus Grubwiggler x Hieronymus Grubwiggler (Love/Hate relationship, adultery, everyone is a furry version of themselves). I decided that something that was that messed up was required to exist and so I wrote this._

_Disclaimer: I am not the owner of The Order of the Stick. That is Rich Burlew aka The Giant._

Hieronymus Grubwiggler had many projects on which he worked. He was nearing the final stages of a couple of them. He grinned as he injected himself with his latest formula. If this worked, he would gain the speed, agility, stamina and strength of a wild animal.

The process was painful and had some aesthetic side effects, but overall he decided that he was pleased with the results as he looked into the mirror. His eyes had become yellow with cat-like pupils. His ears were now pointed and higher on his head, giving a fox-like impression. His nose was longer with a wet, black tip. He had grown a long tail and finally, his body was covered in brown fur. Hopefully his wife wouldn't mind. Speaking of which, the experiment had awoken a primal, animalistic hunger in him. He needed to get home fast. "Giro," he called, "I'm leaving early today!"

His wife had been surprised, but she had come to accept the results of his experiments and he wasn't exactly a looker to begin with. That night was wild and passionate, like from the days of their honeymoon. She had told him that she could definitely tell that there was an improvement in his physical ability scores. It had also inspired him the way she had when he was courting her and the next morning he had gone to work, eager to try his next experiment.

A/N: Ok. I'll admit that I chose to end there for my own convenience, but more will come.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Here is part 2 of "A Twisted Tail":_

_Disclaimer: I am not the owner of The Order of the Stick. Rich Burlew aka The Giant is._

"It's a good thing that we live in a fantasy world," said Hieronymus, "so that when I clone myself, he'll be fully grown and have my memories." He looked over the instructions again. "Hmmm…," he pondered aloud, "this states that it has a similar effect to the spell ice assassin, but that's not a core spell and I'm not familiar with it. Oh well, what's the worst that could happen?" With that announcement, he got to work.

He stared at what appeared to be a mirror image. "Well," he commented, "it appears that my recent modifications have been duplicated in you." The clone arose from the table and stood up. "An excellent specimen." announced Hieronymus. The clone picked up one of the flasks lying around in the lab and appeared to be examining it. "Do you like it?" asked Hieronymus. There was a crash, then pain and darkness.

When Hieronymus awoke, he was strapped to the table. His head felt wet from the blood and he was still rather woozy. He blinked away the blurriness in his eyes. He was standing over himself. No wait! That bastard of a clone had stolen his clothes and restrained him! He snarled as he stared down at his now naked body. "I was wondering when you'd get up." said the clone, "I've given Giro some time off so don't bother calling for help. I just wanted to let you know that tonight, I'm going to be the one who goes home and enjoys your wife." He gave a large, unpleasant grin.  
"When I get out of this…" began Hieronymus.  
"I don't think that that's likely." said the clone, "You see, we have more ranks in use rope than escape artist." He let out a loud laugh and turned around.  
"I'll kill you, you bastard!" screamed Hieronymus as his clone walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Alright here is part 3 of "A Twisted Tail":_

_Disclaimer: Believe it or not, I'm still not the owner of The Order of the Stick. That would be Rich Burlew aka The Giant._

Hieronymus was woken by ice-cold water being thrown in his face. "You!" he growled with venom. "Oh come on," said his clone, "I woke you up for breakfast. I can't have you starve. It will be less fun. Incidentally, I thought that you'd like to know that your wife is still a lot of fun."  
"I'm going to kill you, make you part of a flesh golem and then kill you again!" yelled Hieronymus. "Well if you're not hungry," said the clone, "I suppose that we can get straight to work." He flashed a deadly grin at those words.

Hieronymus had the limits of his body thoroughly tested that day. He was stretched on the rack, spun in the centrifuge, held under cold water and subjected to many more procedures. "Come on," said his clone as he bent his joints in directions that they were never meant to go, "it's not so bad. I've still got plenty of healing potions for if things go a little too far." Hieronymus hated this creation of his, but he couldn't help feeling proud of it. He had created such a magnificent being. He was highly creative and these experiments were ingenious. He even found himself admiring his audaciousness and tenacity. If he was a fellow scientist, he would have considered him a worthy rival, even a potential partner. This was someone whom he'd be glad to ask for ideas. However, for now, Hieronymus had to concentrate on survival and escape, no matter how much he found himself enjoying his imprisonment.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: This is the final chapter._

_Disclaimer: I am not Rich Burlew aka The Giant and he is the owner of The Order of the Stick._

The clone arrived at the lab the next day feeling thoroughly pleased with himself. He was really enjoying his time experimenting on Hieronymus and spending his nights with the wife. However, when he arrived, he immediately knew that something was wrong. Hieronymus was not strapped to the table. "Hello there," came a voice from his left as a scalpel was pressed against his neck, "so nice of you to join me." He turned to face the gaze of Hieronymus Grubwiggler. "How did you escape?" asked the clone.  
"It turns out that you rolled quite a bit lower on your use rope check last night. Low enough for my high roll on my escape artist check to overcome it."  
"Are you going to kill me?" asked the clone.  
"I considered it," said Hieronymus slowly, "but you see, I've been separated from my wife and had certain…urges awoken whilst you were working on me. Therefore, I came up with a better plan. You are going to help me satisfy those urges and this time I'll be dominant."

Hieronymus and his clone lay naked on the floor. "I really enjoyed that." said the clone.  
"But I'm not sure what to do now." replied Hieronymus, "I have a wife. I don't know how I'm going to explain all this to her or what I should do with you."  
"Well you know what they say," answered the clone, "it's not Science unless you share it." With that, they both grinned.


End file.
